Desperate measures [Lily/Sirius]

[HostWitchKat]

Rainy night. Lily Potter was home, in bed. For the first time since she had married James, she wasn't taken along in an Order mission.
The reason for that change was the fact that she was feeling a bit off color. She had been like that for the past couple days, but refused to see a healer.
Staying home didn't help, though. James had told her to rest, but how could she?
Every thunder seemed to echo on her heart, and she had a horrible feeling inside.
Something bad was about to happen. Very bad. She could feel it in her heart.
As she heard the door open, she jumped out of bed and ran to the living room.
Nothing had prepared her for what she saw - Lupin and Sirius laying James' pale body on the floor.
She felt like her heart would stop.
Crying 'No!', she rand and kneeled by his side, pounding his chest.
'You idiot! Why didn't you take me? I'd have died with you...'

[HostWitchKat]

Sirius Black trudged through the thick mud with the worst feeling in his chest imaginable. He and Remus bore the body of their best friend and fellow Order member, James Potter. Sirius couldn't bear to look over at Remus, but felt the body shaking under his shoulders so he could only assume Lupin was silently crying. Sirius let out a deep sigh and wondered why he couldn't cry. Not yet. It had to be more personal than this. Walking in ankle high mud, under the same Invisibility cloak that they had used to pull pranks as children, it had to be more sacred when he finally cried. The thunder pounded throughout Sirius' head, it seemed like it was the only sound left in the world.

A red haired woman walked briskly across the street and Sirius' heart dropped even further. He hadn't even thought about Lily yet. He had lost a best friend but she, she had lost a soul mate.

Walking slowly up the little path towards James' and Lily's house, Sirius had to stop for a moment before entering. Remus looked over inquisitively but knew better than to question. Sirius took a deep breath and entered the little house. He drew the cloak off somberly and helped Remus gently lay James across the floor.

Before he knew it, he heard Lily's frantic cries. Her piercing sounds cut right through him, hurting him more deeply than any Death Eater attack. Suddenly the pain was too much to bear and Sirius could no longer stand. He sank down to his knees, next to the body of the man he called his only true brother. Still, no tears came. He watched in silent helplessness as Lily pounded James' chest. After awhile, he couldn't bear watching her anymore. He slowly turned and motioned for Remus to follow him into the kitchen. She needed to be alone.

[HostWitchKat]

Lily would stay there, screaming and cursing, until her hands could no longer pound James on the chest.

Her voice faded and disappeared slowly, as she laid over the dead body of the only man she had ever loved.

Now, her voice was soft and low.

'Why did you leave me behind, my love? I could have helped you out. I'm fine, don't you see? It's just a bug.'

She let out a sigh, feeling suddenly tired, even though she had been resting all day.

With an effort, the red-haired woman stood up and entered the kitchen. She looked like she was on pain killers.

'How...?' her voice failed 'Tell me how it happened.'

[HostWitchKat]

Sirius rested his head against the cool refridgerator. The quiet hum of the machine was oddly comforting to him. Remus rushed about the kitchen, conjuring up three cups of hot tea, making trays of sandwiches appear from thin air. Sirius watched this and almost laughed. Here they were about to face the widow of their best friend and Remus was acting like they were having a tea party. Remus looked up with a frown, almost as if he could read Sirius' thoughts and said with a scowl, "I'm just trying to help Sirius. She's going to need alot of help to get through this."

Sirius nodded and thought, 'What about me? Who's going to help me through this?"
He jumped as Lily's voice echoed in the little kitchen. He had been so lost in his thoughts that he hadn't heard her come into the kitchen.

'How...?' her voice failed 'Tell me how it happened.'

Sirius winced at the sudden loudness of her voice. It seemed all out of place and fuzzy. Remus rushed over and pushed a cup of tea into her hands. He started to explain the battle that had occured but Sirius cut him off.

"It...It...It was my fault Lils." He said quietly. "He jumped in front of the curse." "My best friend died saving me." Sirius looked away because he couldn't bear to look Lily in the eyes. "I..I..I wish it would have been the other way around."

[HostWitchKat]

Lily dropped the cup of tea, not even noticing the blood that started to pour from her bare feet. The inner pain was much greater than any physical pain could ever be.

She heard Sirius' words and nodded, leaning against the kitchen door. She felt like the whole kitchen was spinning and twirling, and sweat drops appeared on her now pale face.

The woman shook her head slowly.

"How... how am I going to live without him? What... what reason to live do I have now...?"

Her voice suddenly faded as the kitchen spinned one more time and then, it all turned to darkness...

[HostWitchKat]

Sirius lunged forward and tried to catch the tea cup before it crashed to the floor. It landed before he could grab it and shattered all over Lily's feet. Blood rushed from the millions of tiny cuts that now laced the top of her feet.He whipped out his wand without a moments hesitation and said a healing spell. The little cuts quickly disappeared just as Lily sank to the floor and cried, "How... how am I going to live without him? What... what reason to live do I have now...?"

Sirius swallowed hard and ran a finger through his unruly black hair. He looked wildly at Remus, these emotional issues weren't his strong suit. Remus shrugged helplessly, silent tears pouring down his face. Sirius choked back the millions of emotions that were pouring through him and buckled down. He had to be the strong one now. He looked down at Lily and realized she must have fainted. He quietly picked her up and carried her into the spare bedroom. He didn't want to place her in the bed that her and James had shared. He pulled the blankets tightly around her and went back downstairs.

"Notify the other Order members." He simply commanded Remus. Remus nodded helplessly and went to the fireplace. Sirius made his way back upstairs into the bedroom. He conjured up a chair and sat beside the bed, waiting for Lily to awaken.

[HostWitchKat]

Lily stayed out for what seemed like an eternity for her. When she woke up, it was morning, as she could see from the sun on the window. But wait - there was no sun on the window of her bedroom. She looked around. Oh.The spare room, for guests, which ment Sirius.

The red haired woman sat slowly on the bed and touched her forehead. She definetly wasn't feeling better.

As she stood up, she felt an unpleasant twist in her stomach. She took several deep breaths, but that didn't work, so she ran to the bathroom door. Closed. She could her water running on the sink. The woman pounded the door.

'Sirius, open up! Hurry!'

As the door opened, she sped up past Sirius and kneeled before the toiled, coughing out whatever she had ever eaten, or so it seemed.

[HostWitchKat]

Sirius looked in shock as Lily bent over the toilet, vomiting. He stood, still stunned for a moment before quickly closing the door. His cheeks flushed as he felt as though he had just witnessed a very private moment. He shook his head and waited in the hallway for Lily to open the door.

He wanted nothing more than to go downstairs and not have to look at Lily for awhile, until the embarassment passed, but he couldn't let her just walk down there. All of the Order members were downstairs, waiting to comfort her. Molly Weasley hadn't stopped crying or dusting in an hour and the Longbottoms were busy cooking casserole after casserole.

Sirius leaned against the wall outside the bathroom and waited for Lily to come out.

[HostWitchKat]

Lily stayed in the bathroom for a while, before washing her mouth and stepping outside, looking tired and pale. A faint smile came to her lips as she saw Sirius.

'I'm sorry, dear. I don't know what's wrong with me... anyway, I'm guessing the whole Order is filling my living room. Maybe I should show up and let them know I'm still standing... sort of.'

Her green eyes met Sirius' for a moment.

'Will you be with me to whatever end, friend?', she asked, as James used to.

[HostWitchKat]

Sirius smiled faintly. "Yes. They are all out there. I didn't want you to be surprised, walking into a room of..." Sirius couldn't bring himself to say the word 'mourners'. He hesitated, "Room of friends." He said finally, smiling what he hoped was a brave smile.He grabbed her elbow lightly in concern. "Are you sure you're okay Lils?" He frowned slightly. "You don't have to do this if you don't want to. I'll tell them all to come back later when you've had a little more time to yourself."

Sirius looked down into her green eyes as she said, 'Will you be with me to whatever end, friend?'

This was apparently the excuse his body needed to cry. Hearing the words that he and James had uttered to each other on countless silly adventures, Sirius crumpled down onto the hallway floor and silent sobs wracked his body. He sat for a few moments with his head in his hands until he felt Lily's hand on his shoulder. He cried silently for a few more moments and choked back the last of his sobs. He quietly stood up and put his arm through Lily's to lead her down stairs. He smiled through his glistening eyes and said huskily, "To whatever end you may go, friend."

[HostWitchKat]

Lily shook her head. She was abouth to say something when Sirius started crying. She had no tears left to shed, so she might as well dry his. As he finished crying, she allowed him to take her arm and lead her downstairs slowly.

"To whatever end you may go, friend."

That sounded reassuring and comforting. Lily looked at Sirius right before they entered the living room.

"Good. Because I'll need you."

Her green eyes went down, and then back up to his.

"I mean... we will."

[HostWitchKat]

Sirius' eyes opened in wide surprise. He shook his head several times, no words coming out of his open mouth.

"Lils...this can't possibly mean what I think it means right?" Sirius' face burst into the most joyous smile he had smiled since James' death. He grabbed her hands. "You're sure right?"

He laughed a small little laugh and twirled her in a circle. He leaned over and pecked her lightly on the cheek and laughed again.

Sirius looked up to see the entire Order of the Phoenix staring in wonder and horror at him and Lily.

He blushed a deep red and stuttered out, "Uhhh...Lily?" He looked to her for help to explain his puzzling behavior to the other members.

[HostWitchKat]

"Yes, it does mean what you think. And yes, I'm sure now.", she answered, after Siriuw twirled her.

"And since I just had my stomach turned inside out, maybe spinning me is not the smartest idea you could have..."

Lily stopped talking when she saw the looks upon them. When she spoke again, her voice was incredibly calm.

"Sirius, go to the kitchen and wait for me there."

She then turned to Dumbledore. She knew he'd understand.

"Professor. Can we please talk in the study?"

[HostWitchKat]

Sirius continued to blush as the other members were staring at him in astonishment and horror. He made his way through the mourners in the living room and leaned against a counter in the kitchen. Molly Weasley came flying into the kitchen and began hitting Sirius about the head with her dust cloth. She was yelling at him in between tears, "Sirius B..B..Black! You should be ashamed of yourself! Carrying on in such a manner when she's in such a delicate state! Where are your manners!"

Sirius tried to guard his head as three other members of the Order pulled Molly away from him. Remus entered the kitchen to see the last little bit and shot a questioning look at Sirius. Sirius shrugged and stuffed a sandwich into his mouth. LIly would explain to everyone in due time. He leaned heavily against the counter and waited on Lily and Dumbledore to return.

[HostWitchKat]

After a brief conversation, only Dumbledore returned to the kitchen, a worried look on his face.

"My dear friends, please, listen. What happened last night was a horrible tragedy, but there is hope through tears. I just talked to Lily, and she announced the Potter family did not end in James. In this delicate condition, she will need our full support, even more than we had immagined before we knew about this. She didn't look quite well, so I sent her upstairs to rest. She asked me to let you know that whoever wishes to go upstairs and talk to her is most welcome. I advise you to go one at a time, though. We don't want to get young Mrs. Potter stressed at this moment, do we?"